they overdrugged me

July 16, 2008

Who knew that a simple ear infection could turn into a month-long affair?  Here I detail my regrets for taking a short swim in the Gulf of Mexico, or for never getting my ears lavaged at McCosh [F. Wu].

First, it was the deafness.  Two weeks of,

“What? I can’t hear you,” and
“What? We can’t hear you!”

Yes, contrary to depictions of horn-bearing old men, my brand of deafness (plugged) actually made me speak too softly.  If I could hear myself, surely they could hear me!  Not so.

Secondly, the ringing.  I cannot express in words how thrilled I was to rock to a lullaby of the tinnitus of my own pulse every night.

Once it became clear that my little ear trouble would not fix itself, we sought out Dr. F, who promptly diagnosed it swimmer’s ear and sent me home with a bottle of neomycin.  Two drops in each ear, four times a day, until it’s over. At my annual checkup three days later, I now asked Dr. B whether she saw any improvement.  Right ear, all clear!  Keep going with the left. Ok.

The following week found me still deaf, ringing, and across a second ocean.  Aunt M took me to Dr. O who referred me to Dr. HNO who was on vacation (puh).  Mrs. K cut through some red tape and got Mr. K to take me to Dr. HNO2 who finally deigned to clean’er out and dose’er with an assortment of eardrops, nosedrops, anti-inflammatory pills, and The Antibiotic.

And in Week 3, I could hear again!

Now, the present trouble: I have not eaten an entire meal since Sunday morning. From Sunday evening until Wednesday afternoon I’ve had: 2.5 yogurts, 1.5 apples, 2 sips of congee, and 2 inches of baguette.  Plus fluids.  The beautiful navel orange I tried to have for lunch didn’t stay down so well.  All I do instead is sleep.

Some say, “it must be the stress of jet lag.” Pumpkin knuckles!! Taiwan never did me in like this!  Others say, “Oh you haven’t been sleeping enough.”  Sleep schmeep, my education dragged wakitude tolerance up to uncharted levels.  I did watch the sunrise on my walk home last Saturday, but it was relaxing, even, to stroll home after a long night out.

“Food poisoning,” says dad. “Or a virus.  Don’t eat off the streets, and don’t kiss anyone, even on the cheek!”

Dads will be dads.  Which leaves, it seems, The Antibiotic.  What had Dr. HNO2 subscribed for me?  Well, ok, I am a child of Now, I trust google and as much as I do Dr. Mom.  So, much to my dismay, I find that Clavamox is most popularly prescribed for cats and dogs!!

Not. Poss.

The Culprit?

The Culprit?

Well, I dig a little further, into the microscopically inscribed mess included in every drug package, and find that it contains 875mg amoxicillin and 125mg clavulanic acid.  It’s a common mix that may cause my human nasties.  But for how long?  And when, oh when, can I eat again?!!

1. I hope I sound prissy, because I feel prissy.
2. I ate tonight! so instead of collapsed in bed by 6 or 8 I am here writing at 10.  Victory!!


One Response to “they overdrugged me”

  1. Ed Says:

    I didn’t know this existed until now. Keep it up!

    Also this reminds me of my soph spring…hope you feel better!

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